2009 Nobel laureate Herta Müller tells a story about writing under repression

Müller was awarded the Nobel prize for her depictions of the "landscape of the dispossessed" in novels that demonstrate "the concentration of poetry and the frankness of prose". Born in Romania, the author received death threats for refusing to become an informant for President Nicolae Ceausescu's department of state security, the Securitate, and eventually emigrated to Germany.

Original report by Alison Flood and published Guardian.UK

Müller's lecture on winning the Nobel saw her lay out in detail the moment when the Securitate attempted to force her to sign a document describing herself as a collaborator. "He called me stupid, said I was a shirker and a slut, as corrupted as a stray bitch," Müller said. "Without sitting down, I wrote what he dictated my name, date of birth and address. Next, that I would tell no one, no matter how close a friend or relative, that I ... and then came the terrible word: colaborez I am collaborating. At that point I stopped writing."

She told the man that she didn't "have the character for this". "The word character made the Securitate man hysterical," she said. "He tore up the sheet of paper and threw the pieces on the floor. Then he probably realized he would have to show his boss that he had tried to recruit me, because he bent over, picked up the scraps and tossed them into his briefcase. After that he gave a deep sigh and, defeated, hurled the vase with the tulips against the wall. As it shattered it made a grinding sound, as though the air had teeth. With his briefcase under his arm he said quietly: 'You'll be sorry, we'll drown you in the river'. I said as if to myself: 'If I sign that, I won't be able to live with myself anymore, and I'll have to do it on my own. So it's better if you do it'."