Looking back at another year

It’s that time again to thank mom, and sit down with a bottle of wine and look back at life, particularly the last year, to see whether it has been good.  Let’s see, still have a couple of true friends, even though our views of world started to differ recently, but we are still true friends as what true friends mean.  Got two boys who so far have been growing up fine, all looking good for them to become good and honorable men.  Two papers in peer-reviewed journals, more than a couple of patents granted and few more filed in the last year alone. Been taking care of dozens of employees and their families, trying to be fair and helpful with everyone involved.  

Yet nothing too dramatic has happened in recent years. Experiencing an 8.9 quake in Chengdu did not feel like anything felt back in 76 during the Tangshan earthquake.  Nothing came close to surpass the experience 11 years ago as major event in life.  It hardened me, like battle field tough, whatever bad happens now could not be as oppressive and unjust as what I had experience then, so it is actually natural to never give in, never give up.  Sometimes I can’t stop wondering what if it all ended then?  Would it be worth it?  Would there be regrets that all the things that happened in the last 11 years would not have had the chances to play out?  Would the world miss my discoveries and contributions?  Probably not, but what about the kids?  I guess hypothetical questions are pointless most of the times, because all optional assumptions are of no real consequences.  Even so, I would say yes to the “worth it” questions, seeing what has occurred to other countries since 89 and their peoples, and what is happening to the tired and the poor of my old country.  Had I died back then, I would have wished that if one day someone would put something like this to the memory of me:

“You did not bear the shame
You resisted
Sacrificing your life
For freedom, justice and honor”

A memorial to von Stauffenberg  and the entire German Resistance  

Since I didn’t become a hero, this should go to those who did sacrifice their lives.  For me, at least I can say, I did not bear the shame.  

韩寒：那些洗不干净的葱们

If you don't like to read the whole thing, read the last paragraph.

最近，福建有了高教十条。其中最让人瞩目的是第二条——在教育教学工作中散布违反party的路线方针政策、party的基本理论、国家法律法规等错误言论，对学生确立正确理想信念和政治信仰造成不良影响的，实行“一票否决”，违者将被解聘。

让人宽慰的是，看到上文，我本以为要实行“一枪枪毙”，但这仅仅是“一票否决”，比Mao.ZD那会儿进步多了。至于一票什么样的人能投出这一票，我并不关心，我关心的是这个方针政策和基本理论实在很难把握，当权者在要求我们统一思想的时候，自己经常统一不了思想，在我幼小的记忆中，我隐约记得我的高中课本里讲到三权分立，政治课本和政治老师都说，三权分立是个好东西，但最近我一直看到官方的文章和讲话，说三权分立是错误思想。你知道我是一个只有高中文凭的人，我的政治课学到这里就退学了，我只觉得很困惑，我为那些散布过这个错误思想的政治老师和教材编委的命运感到担忧。他们一直在念着领导给的稿子，弄不好还要还给领导办了，原因是那稿子是领导昨天晚上的想法，今天领导起床以后想法变了。

对于这种感受，我看到过一个精确的评价，大意是……他上了车，马上打开右转向灯，往前开了一米，结果他左转了，左转也就算了，没想到他居然调了一个头。

所以，被这样的司机撞死只能自认倒霉。

新闻记者追寻真相，历史老师讲述历史，作家文人写点真话，电影导演拍摄现实，轻则犯下了思想的错误，重则走向了犯罪的道路。而一旦有人这么做，很多人会纷纷猜测，这个人被喝咖啡了，这个人被封杀了，这个人被逮捕了，结果这个人往往最后还没大事，最多就是被消灭了犯罪证据，但人们也不觉得宽松，反而更为自己担忧，觉得可能是因为人家有点名气，go-vern-ment有顾虑，go-vern-ment搞我是不是就没有顾虑……这是一个什么样根深蒂固的形象啊，这要多少时间的浇灌才能巩固成这样啊。

任何年代，就算像洗菜一样洗脑，总有那么几颗葱是洗不干净的，以前，有人要把这些葱割干净，但是随着时代的变迁，那些人只要求这几根葱自顾自的长着就行，但是如果你试图告诉其他的葱，他们马上会被装蒜的压扁。

很多人认为福建教育部门下的文是最近有一些历史老师和大学教授的嘴巴比较大，当然，我也看到今天的新闻，据说历史老师袁腾飞被查办了，同天被查办的还有天上人间夜总会。但是我认为不是这些原因，在敏感院还没有表态的时候，go-vern-ment哪有反应这么神速，各部门配合的这么好的时候。这只是一个巧合，是一个教育部门的常规规定。这一条，在各行各业中都有，说法不同而已。就好比所有的抽奖活动中都有一条，解释权都归活动举办方所有。而我不想去探讨什么谁有评判另外一个人的思想是正确和错误的权力等话题，这个话题没有意义，因为答案很明显，谁有这个权力？当然有权力的人有这个权力。一切有利于他的利益和权力的，当然就正确的，一切不利于他的利益和权力的，当然就是错误的，你只要掌握了这个规律，你就不用沉溺和揪心于什么错误和正确的判断了。

至于大部分的历史老师，语文老师和政治老师们，你们觉得在未来的历史，语文和政治教材中，你们将会得到什么样的一个评价，扮演什么样的一个角色？也许你是一颗身不由己的植物，但是你的每一个学生都是你的种子。尝试着真正的做一个教师吧，教给你的学生常识和思考，独立与正义，为了年老时向你子孙提起你曾经担当的这个职业的时候心存骄傲，而不是满怀羞愧.

I am a teacher, I make sure that I am proud of what I do and teach.